


Fight or Fright

by tansybells



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Female My Unit | Byleth, Fluff and Humor, Haunted Houses, My Unit | Byleth Is Doing Their Best, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:34:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27233554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tansybells/pseuds/tansybells
Summary: Dorothea learns that Byleth has yet to experience a haunted house. Obviously, this needs to be fixed immediately.
Relationships: Dorothea Arnault/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 13
Kudos: 32
Collections: Fodlan Frights Halloween Exchange 2020





	Fight or Fright

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CelinaEevee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelinaEevee/gifts).



> Written for [Celina](https://eeveequeenjigglypuff.tumblr.com/) as a part of the [Fódlan Frights Halloween Exchange!](https://twitter.com/Fe3hHalloween)

“Are you ready for this, hon?” Dorothea asks, gently shaking Byleth’s arm as they inch along the line. Byleth glances around, impassively taking in the loud sounds and blaring lights of the festival.

It’s not the first time she’s experienced something like a carnival, but it’s the first one she’s seen that’s Halloween-themed. The city park has been completely transformed over the past week or two. The children’s toys and climbing structures are no longer standing alone; ramshackle buildings and haphazard stalls have been set up among them. The glow of the setting sun has been replaced by hundreds, maybe _thousands_ of strung-up lights, which illuminate the balloon caricatures of traditional monsters and common phobias in a ridiculous, almost cartoonish fashion.

It’s unsettling in a bright, cheery kind of way, and more than ever, Byleth wishes she had somehow managed to sneak a weapon past through girlfriend’s fastidious pat-down.

“I can’t believe you’ve never been through a haunted house before,” Dorothea chatters along excitedly, pointedly ignoring the way Byleth tenses beside her. “I’ve heard _wonderful_ things about this one. You don’t have to sign a waiver or anything like that, so the actors can’t hurt you, but that doesn’t mean it’s not terrifying.”

“I don’t understand.” Byleth finally focuses her attention on the looming warehouse-like building in front of her, and frowns. Dolls, maybe, or particularly limber college students, hang down out of windows, their arms swaying in the chill autumn breeze.

“People like to get scared,” Dorothea explains patiently. “It reminds them of what it’s like to be chased, to be fearful for their lives, to—”

“To be prey.” Byleth supplies the rest of Dorothea’s explanation, to which Dorothea nods. “It’s been too long. They’ve forgotten.”

“Precisely.” 

A red light turns on above their heads, the twin streams of light accompanied by the blare of a siren. Byleth hisses as Dorothea’s grip on her arm tightens.

“It’s our turn! Come on, let’s go!”

Dorothea drags Byleth into the warehouse. Immediately, Byleth’s senses are assailed by a cacophony of loud noises, bass-heavy music, randomly flashing neon lights, and above it all, punctuating the rest of the sensory mess, the attendee’s screams. 

“How do people enjoy these things?” Byleth grumbles after a few cluttered, claustrophobic rooms.

Dorothea turns to her with a blank expression; it quickly dawns on Byleth that their surroundings are so loud that it’s impossible for her girlfriend to hear her with her normal, muted tone. So she repeats the question, this time loudly enough that it feels like she’s shouting. But Dorothea just shrugs, a puzzled expression on her face, and points with one hand towards her ear.

 _I can’t hear you,_ she says—or at least, that’s what Byleth _assumes_ she says, being unable to hear her over the din—but Byleth doesn’t get the opportunity to try figure out how loud she has to talk in order to be heard before something jumps out at her from behind with a deafening, demonic scream.

“Won’t you come and play?” the actor behind her taunts, and Byleth whips around to see a grown woman dressed up like a child’s doll staring at her, her head tilted at a nearly unnatural angle. But it’s not _actually_ unnatural, of course, because the woman is very clearly human. Dorothea clutches at the fabric of Byleth’s coat, and despite the unalarming nature of the actor in front of her, Byleth can feel her girlfriend shaking.

“I _really_ don’t want to!” Dorothea screeches, pulling Byleth in front of her to use her as her shield.

“No, thank you.” Byleth says at the same time. Then, looking away from the actor, she looks on towards the dark corner in front of them. “There’s another one of you up there, right?” she asks with a jerk of her chin in that direction.

“You should be more worried about _me_!” the actor crows, and Byleth only rolls her eyes and looks over her shoulder to Dorothea.

“It’s nothing to be afraid of,” she promises. “It’s just a person in a costume.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Dorothea scowls at Byleth, her expression fierce despite the shine of tears in her eyes. “I—I _know_ that, Byleth! I’ve seen just as much as you have!”

Byleth has to fight back the urge to affectionately pat the top of her girlfriend’s head; there’s too much adrenaline running through Dorothea’s body and she’s fairly certain that she’ll be bitten in half as soon as she ruffles the first hair out of place.

Ignored, the actor groans, and without another word, Byleth guides Dorothea forward. Truthfully, it’s more like Dorothea steers _her_ forward as she tries to somehow anticipate each of the upcoming frights and jumpscares with varying degrees of success. Byleth is unaffected enough by the entire experience that she doesn’t mind being used as Dorothea’s shield, though, and she remains Dorothea’s ever-unflappable bedrock.

She loses track of time soon enough, and all the actors and scenes set up before them merge into a singular experience marked by Dorothea’s shrieks and yelps. Finally, Byleth ducks under a curtain only to be met with an empty room. She sighs, relieved.

“You can let go now,” she says, looking over her shoulder to reassure Dorothea and make sure that the force of Dorothea’s nails digging into her arm hasn’t caused any actual damage to the skin of her arm. “I think it’s done.”

But instead of looking back up at her with a reassured smile, relieved that the experience is over, Dorothea stares straight ahead, sporting wide eyes and an even paler complexion than usual. Trembling, she lifts a hand and points at the space in front of Byleth. 

With a cock of her head, Byleth follows the line of Dorothea’s arm—only to come face-to-face with a costumed vampire, a macabre glint in its eyes and a vicious, pointed, _greedy_ smile splitting its bloody face in two.

Fueled by instinct, Byleth whips out with one hand and punches the vampire solidly in the stomach. Her knuckles connect with soft, padded flesh, knocking the breath out of the vampire, and the actor doubles over and vomits on the floor in front of Byleth.

“Oh, my god.” Dorothea peeks out from behind Byleth and covers her mouth with her hand, like doing so will somehow completely negate the noxious scent of the bile that’s now spattered across Byleth’s shoes and the hem of her pants. Wrinkling her nose, Byleth lifts her foot and impassively inspects the damage done.

It’s not a moment before lights turn on, flooding the tiny room with brightness, and uniformed security guards pick the two women up and dump them unceremoniously outside the warehouse.

“What just happened?” Dorothea asks, looking around them and taking in the sudden lack of screams, rock music, and flashing lights.

“I think… I punched a vampire,” Byleth says with a confused frown, lifting her fist and looking it over. It stings, just a little bit, and she shakes it out in the space beside her.

“Oh my god. You _did._ Byleth, you—you punched one of the actors!” Dorothea stifles her laughter with her hands. Byleth turns that confused frown onto her girlfriend.

“No, that was a vampire.”

“ _Please_ , Byleth,” Dorothea says, rolling her eyes and giving a bright, toothy smile that bares her fangs. “Don’t tell me you don’t know an impostor when you see one.”

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, I'm too much of a pansy to actually go into a haunted house, so I just watched a whole lot of [Jacob the Carpetbagger](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gRBUlMHp4Y) on youtube going through them instead :3c
> 
> and yes they're vampires give me a break and come say hi on [twitter](https://twitter.com/tansybells) ♡

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * A [Restricted Work] by [quoththegayven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/quoththegayven/pseuds/quoththegayven) Log in to view. 




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